Yes. I love you and hate you at the same time. And yes. I keep on pushing you away every time you want to get closer to me. I mean , thats what i do. Push people away. Because no matter what, I'll always get hurt. You'll not going to hurt me? And u promise? Well thats what they all say. Just because i say, "its cool. its not like i have feelings." I'm actually scared  to grow up. I just can't stand the 

pressure anymore. I'm jealous of them whos enjoying their teenage life though..

Guy friends are the bomb! They're hilarious, cool and fun to hang out with. Everything is just so perfect without any awkwardness. Until you start to like one.

I'm afraid that: 

-If you see me all the time you'll get sick of me 

-If you talk to me all the time, you'll run out of things to say

-If we do the same things all the time, you'll get bored of us

-If I'm too nice to you, you'll take advantage of me

-If I'm too mean to you, you'll drift away from me

-If someone else gets your attention, you'll ignore me

-If you meet somebody new, you'll leave me

And did you  know that you did all of these already :'(

You know what? Yes, I've changed. I'm not as nice as I used to be, because I don't want to get used or walked over, I don't trust everyone and tell them my secrets, because behind every smile is a back stabbing bitch. I distance myself from people because in the end, they're only going to leave. I have changed because I have realized I am the only person I can depend on. 

Today. As usual. I woke up at 10 a.m. I am not a morning person. It took me 1/2 hour to actually get my ass off my damn bed.. THIS POST WAS FROM ONE WEEK AGO. AND I FORGOT WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT. FML.. 

That time. When you told me that one guy likes you because of his 'moves' toward you. Even though he didn't exactly tell you about his feeling.  I feel like theres a huge stone sinking deep in my heart. When you said that.Because I thought he liked me... Well, I never give a fuck about it. I mean, I do. But I don't. Get it? I don't think so you do. I'll just stay quiet and say yes if we talk about him again. I don't need to be his special stuff. I prefer to be his friend...... with benefits? I like him..

PARENTS ARE THE MAJOR PROBLEM WHY DO MOST TEENAGERS ARE IN DEPRESSION. IF YOU'RE MAKING YOUR KID CRY BECAUSE YOU'RE PUSHING THEM. THAT'S A SHIT.  YOU'RE MAKING US WANT TO DO BAD STUFF. YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT US. YOU'REGIVING US A LOT OF PRESSURE. SOMETIMES, WHEN YOU DO THAT TO US. WE FEEL LIKE THERE'S A HUGE ROCK ON OUR CHEST AND THE ONLY WAY TO THROW THAT ROCK AWAY IS TO HAVE FUN.  HANG AROUND PEOPLE THAT GIVE US FREEDOM AND HAPPINESS. DON'T BLAME US, IF WE'RE BEING A BAD KID ETC. BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S MAKING US LIKE THIS . YOU'RE MAKING OUR LIFE MISERABLE. IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT WE'RE LIKE THIS!!!